XANGA REPOST: Oct 26, 2006

so i was thinking about something yesterday... (click for original link)

when i was younger, i was a latch-key child. In the first grade, i lived across the street from my school, so my halmuhnee picked me up. During the middle of 2nd grade, my parents separated, and i moved to Queens with my dad, my halmuhnee going to korea. The school didnt let me go home by myself, so my cousin, who was in the 5th grade, picked me up and we split once we got out of the schoolyard. The third grade was when my school let us go home by ourselves. This was convenient cuz my brother started the 1st grade, and my cousin graduated.

As latchkey children, we would come to an empty home after school. My dad worked at a white person's place, so he actually got out at a respectable hour, and was home at 530 or 6. He would still call us at 3:30, to make sure we got home. Even though we were unsupervised from 3:30 to 6, we couldnt watch TV or play nintendo, because the first thing my dad would do when he comes home is touch the TV. If it was hot, and we didnt finish our hw, we were in BIG TROUBLE. Yes, capital ROUBLE. So we did what any 9-year old with a Super-Mario habit would do....we went to a friend's house to play.

Whenever we went over a friend's house, we were to call him at work and tell him where we went and when we'd be home.

One day, we went over to my friend's house.  Patrick Baik. I used to love his house cuz he had tetris. I'm a Tetris FIEND. So much that I'd believe it if my parents told me i was one-third Russian.

And like usual, I would call my dad and tell him that we'd be home by 5:00. We played. Then at 5:00, i called my dad to tell him we'd be home at 5:30. He wasnt there, so i left a message. Our games were just too intense.

Then at 5:30, i wanted to stay longer, and called my dad's office. He wasnt there. I left another message, but some guy told me he left for the day already. I called home. He didnt get home yet. The right thing to do at this point would be to just go home. But Patrick, my brother and I were having too much fun, and i sure as hell didnt wanna just go home and face having to do homework. So we stayed.

I told Patrick's mom that I had forgotten my keys, so I couldnt go home until my dad came home. And told her that was around 7:30. So we continued playing until 7:30ish, and i called home. My dad picked up, and went ballistic. Then we went home.

I remember when I got home, my dad was furious. It was winter, so the sun went down early. He had actually called the police. I could understand. You dont know where your two kids are (9 and 7-yrs old) and it was dark. Plus, Woodside wasnt exactly the safest neighborhood in the world. When we got home, i told him i had forgotten my keys, and stuff, so he didnt say much, but he was disappointed nonetheless.

But imagine how he felt. My dad knew exactly where we were at 5:00. Patrick's house. But he didnt know where that was, nor did he know his number. So when we were unaccounted for when he got home, he had to call the police. When he called the police, they told him that a child cant be declared missing until they've been unaccounted for at least 24hrs.

So my dad was utterly helpless. He didnt go out of the house roaming around the neighborhood looking for us, cuz he just didnt know where to look. Plus, he had to be home when we did return.

I'm sure i cant fully understand how he must have felt, it must've been close to how God feels when WE're lost. 

God has given us everything we need to come home. I had my keys, and i knew exactly when I had to be home. And God even gives us freedom. I was able to go to a friend's house just by telling my father. But we actively rebel and live selfishly. I lied about my keys to get a couple more hours of playtime.And then, we go missing. God knows exactly where we are, but even in His omnipotent power and glory, He is helpless in saving us. He stands right by the door and waits because its entirely on us. We are the ones to choose whether or not we come home. 


Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me.
Revelations 3:20 (NIV)