Yes, its late. But whatever. Here are my notes for the most anticipated season ever.
The lockout is going to turn out to be a blessing in disguise. The expedited free agency period saved us of months of agony as teams had to make quicker decisions on who to pick up and who to drop. We got through all the drama in just a few short weeks and now we're ready for the entree. The season is here.
- NFC EAST- Washington Redskins
Yes. You read that right. I'm not saying this just cuz I'm spiteful of the results of the Nnamdi lottery (FTR: i hate that douchebag). The entire division is tight as hell and I think all 4 teams are neck and neck in terms of ability. I just dont think Vick is gonna finish the season with more than 12 starts. The shortened off-season is going to be a big problem for their new CBs, Desean the Midget held out for so long that his chemistry will be off, and their #2 receiver Jeremy Maclin is not looking too healthy.
Looking at the other contenders, the Giants are cursed cuz they have the most overrated QB in the league and lost a lot of key players on the O-line and entire defense, and the Cowboys are the Cowboys. Yes, the skins have a horrible coach in Mike Shanahan and had to decide between the greater of two whackass QBs, but the addition of Tim Hightower and the best O-line in the division should be enough to overcome the rest of the East. I believe in Shanahan's ability to develop RBs and they still have a decent receiving set with Santana Moss (due for a decent season), Donte Stallworth (hopefully he's done drinking and driving), and Chris Cooley. I'm definitely gambling here, but I think Washington is gonna take this with either Philly or Dallas getting a wildcard spot.
- NFC NORTH - Green Bay Packers
Did you watch last night's game? A-Rod is dumb nasty. I don't really need to say much here, but I'll add a couple lines for you Bears fans. Jay Cutler is a little bitch and Chicago overperformed last year. and McNabb? he's dunzo.
-NFC SOUTH - Atlanta Falcons
Matty Ice is the best QB with less than 5 years experience (taking A-Rod out even though he's started less than 5, he's been in the league much longer). He already has a top 5 WR in Roddy White and add in Julio Jones, Matt Ryan has the tools to make magic happen. Michael Turner and Tony G are not too shabby either.
The Saints might be in position for another run only 1 season removed from their SB. Yes, Darren Sproles looks like Speedy Gonzalez out there and by adding him and Mark Ingram with Pierre Thomas, they're gonna have a better run game than last year where they were on their 12th string RB by the end of the season. But they just don't look the same anymore. Last night, they relied TOO much on the run. Also, I just dont see how they can win another championship in my lifetime after seeing the entire team fail to tackle Marshawn Lynch last year when he ran 942 yds for that last TD.
Everyone's talking about Josh Freeman. Yes, he's good. Right now, he's better than Mark Sanchez (more on that later) and Matthew Stafford. He's prob gonna be a top 5 QB someday. But they benefitted from an easy schedule last year and cant compare to the Falcons. I don't really need to talk about the Panthers, do I?
- NFC West - San Francisco 49ers
Seattle isn't going anywhere with Tarvaris Jackson. I know you're thinking that I'm stupid for saying that when I'm banking on Alex Smith, who is now in his 7th year of suckitude in the NFL, but I really see him improving to Not Horrible with the addition of Braylon Edwards. With Braylon and Crabtree in the mix, its gonna be hard for any QB to suck that much.
And Arizona? Well, let's just say that I don't believe in Kevin Kolb. wow, this division has some horrible QBs.
I think the Rams might prove me wrong. Actually, I think that they have a really good chance of proving me wrong. But I just want to look like a genius in the off chance that the 49ers actually pull through this time. hahahahah.
- AFC North - Pittsburgh Steelers
Even though there was a lockout, Big Ben managed to no rape anyone this off-season so it looks like he'll be playing all 16 games. Assuming Troy Polomalu stays healthy, I don't see how the Steelers wont dominate the division. The Ravens are close behind, but they'll always play second fiddle as long as Joe Flacco's name is not Big Ben. Plus, Ray Lewis and Ed Reed are pretty old now. I mean, really old.
- AFC South - Houston Texans
After so many years of underperforming, how can they NOT take the division when Peyton Manning is out for the season. What? They haven't announced that he's out for the season yet? That's cuz they still need to sell tickets, fools. This is a neck injury. The doctors said that he needs nerve cells to regenerate before he starts playing again. NERVE CELLS. Just face it. He's not coming back. Yeah, you wasted that 4th rd pick in your fantasy draft. Kerry Collins aint bad, but he's no Peyton Manning. And this isnt like the 2007 Patriots when Brady goes down and Matt Cassel slips into the Belichick system and the team wins 11 games. In Indy, Peyton Manning IS the system.
The Titans are looking good. But CJ2K just got paid so he has no incentive to work right now. And Matt Hasselback is still Matt Hasselback. We havent yet figured out if its the city of Seattle or Hasselback himself that makes good WRs die.
- AFC West - San Diego Chargers
Everyone's talking about how the new kickoff rule is going to negate the Chargers' horrible special teams this season. It makes sense so I'm gonna go with it too. That and the fact that Phillip Rivers is gonna be in FU mode. He's the last top QB without a ring (Brady, Manning, Brees, A-Rod, Ben, Rivers). I mean, even Eli has one and he sucks balls. Barring an injury to the WR dressed as a TE (Gates), Rivers might throw for 4000 yds...IN WEEK ONE!
Jamaal Charles is a beast. But the Chiefs did benefit from a damn easy schedule last year. I expect the Chiefs to put up numbers and maybe knock the Ravens out of a wildcard spot. Either that or Matt Cassel is gonna realize that he's not that good and start sucking like expected.
I've got nothing to say about the Broncos. Sorry, Dane. Nor the Raiders.
- AFC East - NEW YORK JETS
Fuck the Patriots. Fuck Tom Brady and his Uggs. Fuck Bill Belichick and his cut-off hoodies. Fuck Devin McCourty. Fuck Vince Wilfork. Fuck Danny Woodcock (http://goo.gl/jg20w). We beat yalls asses in the playoffs and made it look easy.
I'm looking at the schedule and I think winning 12 or 13 games might be doable. As long as NE doesnt run the table and win 14 again, I might see the Jets play a home playoff game. I should research where I can sell my kidneys in case that happens cuz I might wanna go to that game.
--
PLAYOFFS
NFC Division Leaders: Washington Redskins, Green Bay Packers, Atlanta Falcons, San Francisco 49ers
NFC Wildcards: Philadelphia Eagles, New Orleans Saints
AFC Division Leaders: New York Jets, Pittsburgh Steelers, Houston Texans, San Diego Chargers
AFC Wildcards: New England Patriots, Kansas City Chiefs
Super Bowl: Jets 31 - Packers 27
The lockout is going to turn out to be a blessing in disguise. The expedited free agency period saved us of months of agony as teams had to make quicker decisions on who to pick up and who to drop. We got through all the drama in just a few short weeks and now we're ready for the entree. The season is here.
- NFC EAST- Washington Redskins
Yes. You read that right. I'm not saying this just cuz I'm spiteful of the results of the Nnamdi lottery (FTR: i hate that douchebag). The entire division is tight as hell and I think all 4 teams are neck and neck in terms of ability. I just dont think Vick is gonna finish the season with more than 12 starts. The shortened off-season is going to be a big problem for their new CBs, Desean the Midget held out for so long that his chemistry will be off, and their #2 receiver Jeremy Maclin is not looking too healthy.
Looking at the other contenders, the Giants are cursed cuz they have the most overrated QB in the league and lost a lot of key players on the O-line and entire defense, and the Cowboys are the Cowboys. Yes, the skins have a horrible coach in Mike Shanahan and had to decide between the greater of two whackass QBs, but the addition of Tim Hightower and the best O-line in the division should be enough to overcome the rest of the East. I believe in Shanahan's ability to develop RBs and they still have a decent receiving set with Santana Moss (due for a decent season), Donte Stallworth (hopefully he's done drinking and driving), and Chris Cooley. I'm definitely gambling here, but I think Washington is gonna take this with either Philly or Dallas getting a wildcard spot.
- NFC NORTH - Green Bay Packers
Did you watch last night's game? A-Rod is dumb nasty. I don't really need to say much here, but I'll add a couple lines for you Bears fans. Jay Cutler is a little bitch and Chicago overperformed last year. and McNabb? he's dunzo.
-NFC SOUTH - Atlanta Falcons
Matty Ice is the best QB with less than 5 years experience (taking A-Rod out even though he's started less than 5, he's been in the league much longer). He already has a top 5 WR in Roddy White and add in Julio Jones, Matt Ryan has the tools to make magic happen. Michael Turner and Tony G are not too shabby either.
The Saints might be in position for another run only 1 season removed from their SB. Yes, Darren Sproles looks like Speedy Gonzalez out there and by adding him and Mark Ingram with Pierre Thomas, they're gonna have a better run game than last year where they were on their 12th string RB by the end of the season. But they just don't look the same anymore. Last night, they relied TOO much on the run. Also, I just dont see how they can win another championship in my lifetime after seeing the entire team fail to tackle Marshawn Lynch last year when he ran 942 yds for that last TD.
Everyone's talking about Josh Freeman. Yes, he's good. Right now, he's better than Mark Sanchez (more on that later) and Matthew Stafford. He's prob gonna be a top 5 QB someday. But they benefitted from an easy schedule last year and cant compare to the Falcons. I don't really need to talk about the Panthers, do I?
- NFC West - San Francisco 49ers
Seattle isn't going anywhere with Tarvaris Jackson. I know you're thinking that I'm stupid for saying that when I'm banking on Alex Smith, who is now in his 7th year of suckitude in the NFL, but I really see him improving to Not Horrible with the addition of Braylon Edwards. With Braylon and Crabtree in the mix, its gonna be hard for any QB to suck that much.
And Arizona? Well, let's just say that I don't believe in Kevin Kolb. wow, this division has some horrible QBs.
I think the Rams might prove me wrong. Actually, I think that they have a really good chance of proving me wrong. But I just want to look like a genius in the off chance that the 49ers actually pull through this time. hahahahah.
- AFC North - Pittsburgh Steelers
Even though there was a lockout, Big Ben managed to no rape anyone this off-season so it looks like he'll be playing all 16 games. Assuming Troy Polomalu stays healthy, I don't see how the Steelers wont dominate the division. The Ravens are close behind, but they'll always play second fiddle as long as Joe Flacco's name is not Big Ben. Plus, Ray Lewis and Ed Reed are pretty old now. I mean, really old.
- AFC South - Houston Texans
After so many years of underperforming, how can they NOT take the division when Peyton Manning is out for the season. What? They haven't announced that he's out for the season yet? That's cuz they still need to sell tickets, fools. This is a neck injury. The doctors said that he needs nerve cells to regenerate before he starts playing again. NERVE CELLS. Just face it. He's not coming back. Yeah, you wasted that 4th rd pick in your fantasy draft. Kerry Collins aint bad, but he's no Peyton Manning. And this isnt like the 2007 Patriots when Brady goes down and Matt Cassel slips into the Belichick system and the team wins 11 games. In Indy, Peyton Manning IS the system.
The Titans are looking good. But CJ2K just got paid so he has no incentive to work right now. And Matt Hasselback is still Matt Hasselback. We havent yet figured out if its the city of Seattle or Hasselback himself that makes good WRs die.
- AFC West - San Diego Chargers
Everyone's talking about how the new kickoff rule is going to negate the Chargers' horrible special teams this season. It makes sense so I'm gonna go with it too. That and the fact that Phillip Rivers is gonna be in FU mode. He's the last top QB without a ring (Brady, Manning, Brees, A-Rod, Ben, Rivers). I mean, even Eli has one and he sucks balls. Barring an injury to the WR dressed as a TE (Gates), Rivers might throw for 4000 yds...IN WEEK ONE!
Jamaal Charles is a beast. But the Chiefs did benefit from a damn easy schedule last year. I expect the Chiefs to put up numbers and maybe knock the Ravens out of a wildcard spot. Either that or Matt Cassel is gonna realize that he's not that good and start sucking like expected.
I've got nothing to say about the Broncos. Sorry, Dane. Nor the Raiders.
- AFC East - NEW YORK JETS
Fuck the Patriots. Fuck Tom Brady and his Uggs. Fuck Bill Belichick and his cut-off hoodies. Fuck Devin McCourty. Fuck Vince Wilfork. Fuck Danny Woodcock (http://goo.gl/jg20w). We beat yalls asses in the playoffs and made it look easy.
I'm looking at the schedule and I think winning 12 or 13 games might be doable. As long as NE doesnt run the table and win 14 again, I might see the Jets play a home playoff game. I should research where I can sell my kidneys in case that happens cuz I might wanna go to that game.
--
PLAYOFFS
NFC Division Leaders: Washington Redskins, Green Bay Packers, Atlanta Falcons, San Francisco 49ers
NFC Wildcards: Philadelphia Eagles, New Orleans Saints
AFC Division Leaders: New York Jets, Pittsburgh Steelers, Houston Texans, San Diego Chargers
AFC Wildcards: New England Patriots, Kansas City Chiefs
Super Bowl: Jets 31 - Packers 27
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