XANGA REPOST: friday, january 05, 2007

*i wrote this one a while back after attending a conference. Its not so much about what I learned at that conference. I just really like the story that I posted. No, its not my story. I heard it in a sermon once and spruced it up a bit for my blog

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vision and beyond

i just reread my last entry. about how i went to vision without a reason and stuff. i really didnt have one. But im glad i did. i learned a lot. Did i gain a vision about what to do with my life for the next few months? I still have no clue. Im nowhere nearer to a decision now than before, but im still glad i went to Vision. I went with the faith that God will provide what He had in store for me, and faithfully, He provided.

Here's an illustration that I shared with my small group today during breakfast. Its very appropriate:

There was a young boy who lived in a farm with his family. The farm was in the middle of nowhere. One day, the young boy heard that the circus would be coming to town. He had no idea what a circus was, but all the hype from the town made it sound incredible. He knew that he wouldnt be able to afford to go since the harvest was many months away and the admission was $1, a large sum for subsistence farmers. Their farm barely provided enough to feed themselves. But he had faith, and worked hard.

For months, he did all his chores, and worked extra hard. He woke up early and worked late into the night, even after the sun went down and nothing could be seen. He dreamt of what the circus was all about, and hoped that one day, he would be able to see it.

The day finally came. He went to his father and pleaded for some money to go to town for the circus. The father had little money, but knew of the hard work that his son has done, and lovingly gave him the last dollar from his crinkled wallet. The boy was overjoyed and went to town. 

Upon arriving at town, he started to hear the music. The ringmaster, the acrobat, the jugglers, everyone was parading down the street. The animals were all in cages, except for the elephants. They were all in line to walk down the main street for the first time ever. The boy's face was ecstatic. He'd never seen lions before, nor elephants, or even clowns. He had the greatest time, and his smile brightened the town. 

Finally, after all the acrobats, all the elephants, all the lions had passed, one final juggling clown followed the rest of the traveling circus crew. He went to the boy and gave him a big smile. The boy cried because he was so happy. He then pulled out his dollar, gave it to the clown, and went home. 

The boy got his time with the clowns. However, he thought the parade was everything. He mistook the parade for the circus and went home. We must not make this mistake. The things we learn at our retreats, our conferences....they are not the end that God intended for us. Thats just the parade. The circus is still ahead of us. Everything begins when we go out into the real world. The circus is the rest of our lives. 


originally posted on http://emceehummer.xanga.com/561017153/vision-and-beyond/

My prayers have changed

*I've been trying to write this entry for months now, but I just can't seem to write it the way I want it to be said. This is the best I could do.


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I remember that my prayers were always 'God, show me Your Will....Show me Your Will.'

This is a common prayer. A LOT of people pray it. Its always good to be one step ahead of the competition, so we want to know what's in store for us. And its easier to work towards something than to wander around life aimlessly because we don't see the purpose in anything we do. Plus, we're so flawed due to our own selfish desires that we never know what we want nor do we know what's good for us. God's Will? I'd rather take that any day of the week and twice on Sundays.

But at some point in my life, I realized this prayer was selfish, arrogant, prideful, and nearly heretical. What do we think we're gonna do with His Will when we know? Do it on our own? God's Will is going to be carried out whether or not we want it. Knowing it isn't going to change anything. Its also arrogant to believe that all I needed in life was for a plan to be made for me and that I wouldn't need God for anything else.

Some things are just better left for God to know. There are definitely parts of my life that I didn't intend to happen, and if I did have the choice, I probably would have chosen for them to have not happened. But I'm certainly glad I went through them since I'm a better/stronger/stable/wiser/any-positive-adjective person for that. I'd give you an example, but this is a concept that is likely familiar to all of you.

My plea for God's Will was nothing more than a way to hide my control freakishness in a veil of spiritual submission.

I've since started praying for a heart of obedience.

Obedience requires trust. A soldier does not need to know the details of the diplomatic quarrel in order to complete his task. A receptionist at Google does not need to know how the search algorithm works. I don't need to know every detail of my life before I live it. I have to trust in God and allow Him to do His thing. I have to obey.

Anyone can obey a command that makes sense to them. It takes faith to obey when things don't make sense. Its easy to obey when things are clear. Its harder to obey when things aren't. I thought that if I knew what He wanted me to do, things would fall into place and I'd be solid. But thats not the case. God makes it clear in my life all the time what I should be doing. But like a stubborn fool, I run away or choose my own destiny.

I have to learn to trust in the things that He commands of me daily. Its not about the big plan. He takes care of the big plan. All I need to do is be obedient in the little things that will eventually add up to the big plan.

Yeah. Thats how my prayers have changed.

XANGA REPOST: January 18, 2008

ATTENTION ALL AMERICANS


We have captured your leader, the tall, bald-headed, sparkly-eyed behemoth named 'sammyVicious.'
We shall hold him ransom until all US troops are removed from Afghanistan or the NY Jets win the Super Bowl. Whichever comes first.
We shall consider releasing your leader if a payment of $12 Trillion dollars is made to the address below. Thank you, have a nice day. ALLLALALLALLALALALLALLLAALLAALLAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Tally-Bahn Corp.
Albert K. Dah
1567 Kebob Lane
Kabul, Afghanistan 000001


P.S. Your agent, known as John, is on our side now.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1

random notes:

-probably not a good idea to catch a midnight premiere after waking up at 4am, working all day and then having a long dinner.

-voldemort is the bad guy.

-harry potter is a douchebag that doesnt understand the brolaws (AKA manlaws)

-you cant use magic to save a person from his appointment with death. RIP Dobby (shutup. I didnt spoil anything. you guys all read the book already).

-emma watson is jogeum cute.

-dumbledore died in an earlier movie. thats why he doesnt try to save them during the whole movie.

-its ok to watch the 7th movie in a series without watching #1-6 as long as you get good intel before the movie.

-this movie is PG-13. i would have rated it R for its 'brief sensuality'

-"Harry Potter" is pronounced "Hah-rhay Pau-urh" in Britain.

-a whole crapload of little kids will watch the midnight premiere of a movie even though they have school the next day. little kids are excusable. their parents are not.

Lessons from meeting an above-par-looking friend

I had the fortunate opportunity to meet up with a long-time friend last night. Probably top 25 convos I've ever had. 


Here are some things I learned. Some things he said directly, but other things I realized as a result of our convo. I don't care if other people read this. I'm posting this so I don't forget.


-you never know who's watching so always give your 100% every single day

-sometimes God takes away things from you, even though they're good things, because He wants you to focus on Him

-think big picture.

-don't think abstract theoretical concepts. that's what ancient Greeks do. figure out where you want to be and do the PRACTICAL things needed to get there

-dalwhinnie is a fine stuff. I think it might join Jameson in my single-malt rotation.

-sometimes what you say isn't as important as what you don't say.

-if you disagree with someone about something, hope that one of you is right or both of you aren't getting anywhere

-a man in his late 20s needs accountability

-family is VERY important.

-your body is your temple. take good care of it.

-like what you like and like it a lot.

-there are no excuses in life. take care of your shit.


-sometimes you need to accumulate seemingly trivial things in order to gain the credibility to do greater things.


-you can learn a whole lot about people through facebook and xanga.


-it doesn't matter if you don't know anything about something. If you do enough research, you'll be able to succeed as if you knew everything about everything. 



Thanks again for everything, Bern. I ain't tagging you cuz I know you're gonna read this anyway. HAHAAH
And even though the other thing didnt work out, I appreciate everything that was said and will keep it all to heart.


Lastly, I'm going to apologize in advance for the major whooping I'm going to give you in the playoffs.

XANGA REPOST: Oct 26, 2006

so i was thinking about something yesterday... (click for original link)

when i was younger, i was a latch-key child. In the first grade, i lived across the street from my school, so my halmuhnee picked me up. During the middle of 2nd grade, my parents separated, and i moved to Queens with my dad, my halmuhnee going to korea. The school didnt let me go home by myself, so my cousin, who was in the 5th grade, picked me up and we split once we got out of the schoolyard. The third grade was when my school let us go home by ourselves. This was convenient cuz my brother started the 1st grade, and my cousin graduated.

As latchkey children, we would come to an empty home after school. My dad worked at a white person's place, so he actually got out at a respectable hour, and was home at 530 or 6. He would still call us at 3:30, to make sure we got home. Even though we were unsupervised from 3:30 to 6, we couldnt watch TV or play nintendo, because the first thing my dad would do when he comes home is touch the TV. If it was hot, and we didnt finish our hw, we were in BIG TROUBLE. Yes, capital ROUBLE. So we did what any 9-year old with a Super-Mario habit would do....we went to a friend's house to play.

Whenever we went over a friend's house, we were to call him at work and tell him where we went and when we'd be home.

One day, we went over to my friend's house.  Patrick Baik. I used to love his house cuz he had tetris. I'm a Tetris FIEND. So much that I'd believe it if my parents told me i was one-third Russian.

And like usual, I would call my dad and tell him that we'd be home by 5:00. We played. Then at 5:00, i called my dad to tell him we'd be home at 5:30. He wasnt there, so i left a message. Our games were just too intense.

Then at 5:30, i wanted to stay longer, and called my dad's office. He wasnt there. I left another message, but some guy told me he left for the day already. I called home. He didnt get home yet. The right thing to do at this point would be to just go home. But Patrick, my brother and I were having too much fun, and i sure as hell didnt wanna just go home and face having to do homework. So we stayed.

I told Patrick's mom that I had forgotten my keys, so I couldnt go home until my dad came home. And told her that was around 7:30. So we continued playing until 7:30ish, and i called home. My dad picked up, and went ballistic. Then we went home.

I remember when I got home, my dad was furious. It was winter, so the sun went down early. He had actually called the police. I could understand. You dont know where your two kids are (9 and 7-yrs old) and it was dark. Plus, Woodside wasnt exactly the safest neighborhood in the world. When we got home, i told him i had forgotten my keys, and stuff, so he didnt say much, but he was disappointed nonetheless.

But imagine how he felt. My dad knew exactly where we were at 5:00. Patrick's house. But he didnt know where that was, nor did he know his number. So when we were unaccounted for when he got home, he had to call the police. When he called the police, they told him that a child cant be declared missing until they've been unaccounted for at least 24hrs.

So my dad was utterly helpless. He didnt go out of the house roaming around the neighborhood looking for us, cuz he just didnt know where to look. Plus, he had to be home when we did return.

I'm sure i cant fully understand how he must have felt, it must've been close to how God feels when WE're lost. 

God has given us everything we need to come home. I had my keys, and i knew exactly when I had to be home. And God even gives us freedom. I was able to go to a friend's house just by telling my father. But we actively rebel and live selfishly. I lied about my keys to get a couple more hours of playtime.And then, we go missing. God knows exactly where we are, but even in His omnipotent power and glory, He is helpless in saving us. He stands right by the door and waits because its entirely on us. We are the ones to choose whether or not we come home. 


Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me.
Revelations 3:20 (NIV)

Xanga

I went through my Xanga recently. Not everything, but maybe a good 3 or 4 years worth. I laughed a lot at some posts. I cringed at the sight of other posts. Its funny how much (or how little) people change.

Its even funnier when you consider the outrageously ridiculous things I am capable of saying everyday.

But there were a good stretch of quality posts that I read that I forgot about. There was a time where I was actually a half-way decent writer, even if I do say so myself. I read stuff that I wrote, expecting to see a reference at the bottom to where I was quoting from only to find that there wasn't one.

Yup. Those posts need to be reshared. Not just cuz they're so awesome. Mostly cuz it'll save me the guilt of not writing more original posts on a regular basis.

My Sources of News

I've finally updated and organized my RSS feeds.

If you're wondering why I find it necessary to tell the world what I read everyday, wait til the next time I tell you something and you ask me how I know what I do.

Knowing what  person chooses to read is a very good measure of finding out what the person values. There are definitely a lot of questionable decisions below (how i categorized stuff, why i even bother reading some of the things i do, and why i'm not reading other things), but alas, this is what I spend my days caring about.

The following is where I choose to gain my knowledge of the world. . . and yes, it takes HOURS to read them all.

News
The Washington Note
NY Times Home Page
Perez Hilton
BBC News
Variety

Friends' Blogs
various

Tech
The Official Google Blog
Engadget
Engadget Alt
Tech Crunch
Download Squad
Wired Top Stories
Gizmodo

Food
Maangchi
Serious Eats
Serious Eats: New York
Slice
A Hamburger Today
Diner's Journal (just because of Mark Bittman)
IReallyLikeFood
The Kitchn
Food Wishes
Korean Cuisine

Sports
ESPN
Terez Owens

Blogs
Information is Beautiful
PostSecret
Adora Svitak
Scouting NY
Kina Grannis
Roger Ebert
Ask A Korean!
Dan Ariely
The KoreAm Journal

Humor
Internets Celebrities
Stuff Christians Like
The Oatmeal
The Big Caption
Ape, not monkey
Dilbert
Garfield
xkcd
The Daily What

Science
Not Exactly Rocket Science
TEDTalks

News Blogs
The Huffington Post
The Daily Dish by Andrew Sullivan
Gawker
Double X
Relevant Magazine Slices
The Awl

Deals
BensBargains
SlickDeals
TechBargains

Poker
Cardplayer
Cardplayer.com Blogs

Religion
The Resurgence
A Slice of Infinity
Stand to Reason

Art
Strobist
The Sartorialist
All Eyes

I read a LOT

Rex Ryan locker room speech, Hard Knocks season 7 episode 1

Alright, guys. Lets go ahead and get started.

We have one goal as an organization, don't we. One goal as an organization. And thats to win a Super Bowl, right? How do we get it done?

I want to lead the league in wins. Thats what I want on offense. Lead the league in wins. Ok? We straight with that?

Defense expectations. Hey guys, we don't have Revis in this building right now. Does it matter that Revis is not here? Goddamn. He's pretty fucking good. [laughter] He's pretty good. Ok? But you know what, guys? It ain't about one guy. Its about leading the league in fucking wins, on defense. Isn't it?

Special teams expectations. I wanna lead the league in something. What is it? Wins. How about that?

If we play at our best, we will beat every team in this fucking league playing at their best. So who's it on? Whose shoulders does it fall on? Ours. We affect how this thing turns out. Don't we? And it starts with training camp. We gotta have great goddamn training camp, man. Last year, 'hey we were under the radar, thats a good place to be.'

Fuck that. The best place to be is when expectations are high. Get used to it. Its always going to be that way.  And now lets go out and prove everybody right.

'We know we're better than you. We dont give a fuck if you know it or not. We dont give a shit if you give us your best game. We're gonna give you our best game and we're gonna beat the fuck out of you.'

How's that? Let's go get it.

[cue 'Not Afraid' by Eminem]