XANGA REPOST: friday, january 05, 2007

*i wrote this one a while back after attending a conference. Its not so much about what I learned at that conference. I just really like the story that I posted. No, its not my story. I heard it in a sermon once and spruced it up a bit for my blog

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vision and beyond

i just reread my last entry. about how i went to vision without a reason and stuff. i really didnt have one. But im glad i did. i learned a lot. Did i gain a vision about what to do with my life for the next few months? I still have no clue. Im nowhere nearer to a decision now than before, but im still glad i went to Vision. I went with the faith that God will provide what He had in store for me, and faithfully, He provided.

Here's an illustration that I shared with my small group today during breakfast. Its very appropriate:

There was a young boy who lived in a farm with his family. The farm was in the middle of nowhere. One day, the young boy heard that the circus would be coming to town. He had no idea what a circus was, but all the hype from the town made it sound incredible. He knew that he wouldnt be able to afford to go since the harvest was many months away and the admission was $1, a large sum for subsistence farmers. Their farm barely provided enough to feed themselves. But he had faith, and worked hard.

For months, he did all his chores, and worked extra hard. He woke up early and worked late into the night, even after the sun went down and nothing could be seen. He dreamt of what the circus was all about, and hoped that one day, he would be able to see it.

The day finally came. He went to his father and pleaded for some money to go to town for the circus. The father had little money, but knew of the hard work that his son has done, and lovingly gave him the last dollar from his crinkled wallet. The boy was overjoyed and went to town. 

Upon arriving at town, he started to hear the music. The ringmaster, the acrobat, the jugglers, everyone was parading down the street. The animals were all in cages, except for the elephants. They were all in line to walk down the main street for the first time ever. The boy's face was ecstatic. He'd never seen lions before, nor elephants, or even clowns. He had the greatest time, and his smile brightened the town. 

Finally, after all the acrobats, all the elephants, all the lions had passed, one final juggling clown followed the rest of the traveling circus crew. He went to the boy and gave him a big smile. The boy cried because he was so happy. He then pulled out his dollar, gave it to the clown, and went home. 

The boy got his time with the clowns. However, he thought the parade was everything. He mistook the parade for the circus and went home. We must not make this mistake. The things we learn at our retreats, our conferences....they are not the end that God intended for us. Thats just the parade. The circus is still ahead of us. Everything begins when we go out into the real world. The circus is the rest of our lives. 


originally posted on http://emceehummer.xanga.com/561017153/vision-and-beyond/

My prayers have changed

*I've been trying to write this entry for months now, but I just can't seem to write it the way I want it to be said. This is the best I could do.


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I remember that my prayers were always 'God, show me Your Will....Show me Your Will.'

This is a common prayer. A LOT of people pray it. Its always good to be one step ahead of the competition, so we want to know what's in store for us. And its easier to work towards something than to wander around life aimlessly because we don't see the purpose in anything we do. Plus, we're so flawed due to our own selfish desires that we never know what we want nor do we know what's good for us. God's Will? I'd rather take that any day of the week and twice on Sundays.

But at some point in my life, I realized this prayer was selfish, arrogant, prideful, and nearly heretical. What do we think we're gonna do with His Will when we know? Do it on our own? God's Will is going to be carried out whether or not we want it. Knowing it isn't going to change anything. Its also arrogant to believe that all I needed in life was for a plan to be made for me and that I wouldn't need God for anything else.

Some things are just better left for God to know. There are definitely parts of my life that I didn't intend to happen, and if I did have the choice, I probably would have chosen for them to have not happened. But I'm certainly glad I went through them since I'm a better/stronger/stable/wiser/any-positive-adjective person for that. I'd give you an example, but this is a concept that is likely familiar to all of you.

My plea for God's Will was nothing more than a way to hide my control freakishness in a veil of spiritual submission.

I've since started praying for a heart of obedience.

Obedience requires trust. A soldier does not need to know the details of the diplomatic quarrel in order to complete his task. A receptionist at Google does not need to know how the search algorithm works. I don't need to know every detail of my life before I live it. I have to trust in God and allow Him to do His thing. I have to obey.

Anyone can obey a command that makes sense to them. It takes faith to obey when things don't make sense. Its easy to obey when things are clear. Its harder to obey when things aren't. I thought that if I knew what He wanted me to do, things would fall into place and I'd be solid. But thats not the case. God makes it clear in my life all the time what I should be doing. But like a stubborn fool, I run away or choose my own destiny.

I have to learn to trust in the things that He commands of me daily. Its not about the big plan. He takes care of the big plan. All I need to do is be obedient in the little things that will eventually add up to the big plan.

Yeah. Thats how my prayers have changed.